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Labels. We've all got them. Some we're proud of ( "Daughter of God", "Mother", "Wife") and some we're not. Some we've given ourselves, and some are given to us.

I live with a lot of labels. I've recently played around with some different labels, most recently balancing crunchy momma (though as one of my besties, The Common Sense Crusaider, would point out, crunchy conservative is a much better fit) and suburban housewife. I'm struggling to keep the seemingly presigious SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom) label in my collection, despite the fact that at the end of next week, I start a pretty prestigious paid job (for us nurses, these teaching gigs don't just fall out of the sky!) Maybe I'm all of them. Maybe I'm none. And maybe that's ok.

Maybe I don't need to follow all the directions on the label exactly to be able to use it.

Sometimes You Just Need to Put on Your Big Girl Panties...

It's funny, I have used this phrase so many times in the past few months, but this time, I'm not talking about anyone else, I'm talking about me!

Greg is gearing up for another trip. While we didn't actually know his job would involve travelling when he took it, the trips have sadly become a large part of his job description. His work has taken him to India, China, Ireland, Singapore, as well as countless locations in the US and Canada. Unfortunately aside from taking an extra 2 days to see the Taj Mahal in India, and for a family vacation before his work in Ireland, he never gets to ENJOY the places he's travelling to. He's usually gone for at least a week, occasionally two, and it usually means that the weekend before and after are broken up with trips to the airport.

It's gotten easier as time has progressed. We've invested in our laptops so we can now webcam to chat so we don't miss a day of facetime :) And, sadly, I'm getting more use to him being gone. Before Princess came along, his trips would mean extra shifts and LOTS of overtime. If I wasn't at work, I was sleeping. It sucked, and I was lonely, but we managed. The extra $ from my overtime helped.

Now that the littles are here, I actually clear my schedule of work while he's gone. I try to maintain as much normalcy as possible for them. We usually follow the same pattern - first few days are lonely and out of sync, the next while we find our groove, and the last day or two take SO LONG to go by - it's an hour-by-hour countdown for Daddy's return.

It's time for me to put on my big-girl panties, and change my outward attitude for the littles. As Princess gets older and... develops independence (to put it nicely somedays!) I get a reminder that I am modeling every behaviour for her. So this trip I'm challenging myself. While I HATE when he's gone, I want to make his trips special for them. This means sleepovers in the big bed (Tobes is with us, but Princess sleeps in her own room otherwise), special outings, and special dinners. And hopefully by modelling better attitude for them, it'll help me feel better soon.

I hate when he's gone, but this is not the first, nor the last of his travelling. I might as well make the most of it!

Mompetition...

OMG

A friend of mine shared a youtube goodie with me last summer. I watched it, giggled, and thought of all the people I could fit into either part of the conversation. But a bored blog-browsing session today led me to stumble upon her blog, as well as her youtube channel.

While I definately have more crunch to me than this woman, at the end of the day she's not about breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. She's not about homebirths vs. hospital births. She's not about circumcision vs. intact. Her videos are a poignant reminder of just how some of us moms can come across, and how batcrap crazy we can sound!!

Dudes, remember what you're fighting for, and who you're fighting! ;)

And watch her videos. Seriously, they're awesome.

Blogging for the sake of it ;)

I'm still trying to figure out what I want this little blog to be. Some blog about a struggle they are battling with, some blog about their families, some blog about their work, some blog about causes. I'm guessing this will probably turn into one about my family. As I start to think about launching a business for myself, I am considering HOW and WHAT PART I want to brand. I'm thinking of launching a seperate blog and twitter account for writing about advocacy, and lactation-related goodies. But I'm hoping to keep this one up and going as well. I want to blog more often about my family. I am AWFUL at keeping up baby books. Hopefully taking the time to blog or journal a little bit every day will at least give me a point a reference when I look back in a year and try to remember what The Tobes was like at 9 months old, or what hilarious things Princess said (the other day, she tried to convince me that I should watch TV instead of playing on the computer, becasue the TV was so much better... "Tangled" was in the DVD player on our laptop...) So yeah. Blogging for the sake of it right now, but hopefully I'll take better advantage of this little blog o' mine ;)

What Are You REALLY Fighting For?

I wanted to start this off by saying that this is about no one in particular, but written for everyone (myself included). This thought process started out as one conversation with one friend months ago, and then stemmed to more conversations, with more friends.

I have been blessed to know many MANY strong people in my life. They are nurses, teachers, business people, volunteers, activists, and advocates for a variety of causes. They are fighting for a cause, they are fighting for themselves, they are fighting for their familes, and they are fighting for others. They are fighting the government, they are fighting legislation, they are fighting colleagues, team-members and they are fighting pre-existing stereotypes, labels, and misconceptions.

It's clear to me that each of these people have taken up the cause because they've believed in it. Something about it has implanted deep within them. I, for example, am an avid advocate of breastfeeding.

It can be exciting to take a stand and fight. To share the information, educate others, break down barriers and push through. It's awesome to see minds change, and people impacted by your actions, by your taking a stand. And it's a responsibility. I am a nurse, consultant, and educator - it's my JOB to be passionate about this topic.

But I think deep down every one of us need to take a pause and contemplate exacting what we're fighting for, and exactly who we're fighting against. Do you actually know what you're getting into? Do you actually know the other side of the argument? Educate yourself on both sides. Your argument is a million times stronger if you already know what they're going to say. Do you know your sources? Do you know theirs?
And do you know who you're up against? Are they the attackers or the uneducated? Are they the unjust or the uninformed? There are times and places for the bullhorn and picket-line, yes. But don't forget that actions can also speak louder than words, and sometimes respect begets respect. Are they people you know, or strangers? The high-powered, or the person on the street? Are they people like you, or polar opposites? Do you know their background, their resources, what led them to where they are, and why they believe what they do?

It's disheartening to see people get disrespected by the bullhorn, or turned off by someone's on or off-podium actions. And it's frustrating to get painted with the same brush. In all the fighting, where's the compassion? Where's the respect? Just because you're right (or think you're right) doesn't make other people automatically wrong.

So I beg you to take a moment and think about how you take up your cause. Because your actions don't just impact you. They impact us all.

When the "Transitioning" Become the "Transitioned"...

I'm officially coming out of the closet. At least here. I don't know exactly who reads this or how often, so this is kinda a big deal, but it's a smaller deal than let's say facebook or the entire world.

I'm a lactation consultant.

That's right. I wrote my exam. I am officially an IBCLC. I have an official card and pins and everything. And a certificate. That's right. I have a piece of paper and a PLASTIC card (no paper nonsense like my RN membership) with my full name on it. And 2 metal pins. All of them say that despite my procrastination and baby-brain and 2 children, I did over 1000 practicce hours, 75 hours of education, and passed a day-long exam and have now joined the ranks of International Board Certified Lactation Consultants. I could be hired at a hospital, have my own private practice, or work with doctors, midwives, or doulas.

But I am in hiding, mostly.

Why am I hiding? Because it feels safer. Because while this is a passion of mine, and a longterm dream, I think it's easier to not acknowledge it. At least not yet.

I look at other lactation consultants that I know (both with formal and informal training, both with formal and informal titles) and they're SO knowledgeable and SO smart. And I know all of my shortcomings, and I know all the things I don't know.

But I also understand that I will always be learning, and I will always be growing, and it takes time and practice to become who I see these other women as. And now, I'm just as qualified to do the job as any of them.

So I'm out of the closet. But don't tell your friends. At least not yet ;)

Christmas

Is it Christmas yet? Now? How about now?

I am one of those annoying people with their lights up in October (though, in my defense, you need to get them done early with the winters we have! And we don't turn them on yet... Mostly because Greg won't let me...) I squeal at the first Christmas commercial of the season (not because I enjoy the commercialism of the season, but because I like the songs, and the reminder that Christmas is, infact, just around the corner). I love the twinkling lights, the decorations, and the music. I love the snow (when I don't need to go anywhere), the coziness, and the warmth. I LOVE gift-giving. I have an incredible craft-list for family this year that I'm so excited to work on! And most of all I love the "meaning of the season" - I love the opportunity to celebrate Jesus, and God's gift of salvation to us. I love hearing the story of Mary and Joseph and singing Christmas carols in a packed church with my family and friends.

So... Is it Christmas yet?