Friday, September 24, 2010

"Moments"

This post is dedicated to all my awesome friends - those who have shown amazing kindness and gentleness towards me and my family. Some of you have children of your own and have "been there, done that". Some of you are aunties (whether biologically, or have been adopted into the role) and some of you have made the decision to turn working with small children into a career. This post is a thank you to all of you. I know for certain that some of you read this blog, and I don't know about others. But I need you to know how awesome you all are.

I feel like I have had a week of "bad mommy moments". I don't mean that to say that I'm a bad mommy. I know I'm not. I look at my little girl and I know that I've done something right ;) But this has been a trying week, and when people look back at my life, and remember me as a mother, I hope this week is replaced by many happier memories. I've been short tempered, frustrated, tired, and upset. It's been rough with my partner-in-crime gone. I can tend to Tara (who I think has actually gotten chattier), or I can tend to Toby (who, while is a smiling ball of cuteness, is still a fussy, wailing infant!) but I feel like I fall desperately short when trying to care for both (and then throw myself and a dog into the mix). Thank goodness his trip was only 6 days! I am so happy to be back to "normal". Beyond missing my hubbyman like crazy, I'm so happy to have a second set of hands, and a second person to lavish attention on Tara while I nurse Toby, or to play with Toby (which at this point involves making faces and squeaking a giraffe) while I read to Tara. It's nice not to be outnumbered, and to give each child the attention they deserve.

We all have our "moments", whether mommy-related or not, where we feel we fall short of our own expectations of ourselves. Moments where we look back and feel like something has caused us to act out of character, where we could list 3 different (better) ways we could have reacted to a situation, or where we've come up with the PERFECT response... 2 days later. I've definately had my fair share, not limited to this week, although I feel like it's been more concentrated these last 6 days. I get frustrated with my chatty 3-year-old. I am flustered with my crying baby. I say and do things that while no one else might have thought anything of it, I wish I could redo (2 days later, of course! ;)) I pride myself on my parenting. I am proud of the funny little girl my daughter has become, and the smiling, happy baby my son is. I am embarassed when I get flustered and upset. I am embarassed when I lose patience and raise my voice. I am embarassed when I'm distracted and can't focus.

And this is where my awesome friends come in. I know it's all part and parcel in friendship, but thank you for your looks of understanding when I have those moments, and knowing that I'm just having a bad day. Thank you for your patience, and kind words. Thank you for your love and understanding.

You guys rock my socks!