My Reflections on the Last 4 Years...

Tobes, 1 year ago

I have been writing this post over and over and over again. I thought that my "Mommyhood" post was born in May (and left unfinished and rewritten 10 times over), but a search (and cleanup!) though my drafts folder on Blogspot has shown me that I actually had 2 more starts to this topic dating back to March of 2009.

My post on Fatherhood came easily to me. My husband is inspiring, and an amazing father to my 2 children. More than I could ever ask for. It was easy to write about such a fantastic parent.

But what do I say about motherhood? And while I just celebrated my 4th anniversary as a mother, what makes what I have to say any more inspiring than anyone else?

I do not pretend to be an expert, and I do not pretend to be flawless. If anything, I am still climbing a very steep learning curve.

But this is what I HAVE learned about myself and motherhood in the last 4 years...

• Time for myself doesn't have to be time by myself, but it's important either way.
• I find the company of a 4 year old to be one of great fun, and great laughter. Most of the time.
• I finally appreciate my mom's "wait until it's your turn" comment when she seemed frazzled after I spent hours talking nonstop growing up...
• It's ok to be frustrated sometimes.
• It's ok to make mistakes. As long as Princess doesn't write a memoir...
• I am a good mom despite showering alone, having a hairstyle that takes time to style, scrapbooking, or spending money on things for me (those "repost this if you are a REAL mom..." statuses on facebook KILL me!)
• I am crazy-proud of my children for the most ridiculous things.
• I am not as patient as I thought I was. Actually, that's not true. I am just as impatient as I thought I was. And it's my impatience that is my daily lesson.
• Though it may take time for me to gather up courage, I am willing and able to do whatever it takes to protect me and my family no matter what I'm protecting them from.
• To do what's best for me, and to do what's best for my children aren't always the same, but I hope that I will always find a way to keep them compatible.
• Discipline and guiding behaviour is infinitely more daunting a task than I ever imagined.

And finally,

• Motherhood is, at the end of the day, about raising a person. Someday Princess and Tobes will be contributing members of society, and I hope that my family's values and beliefs are instilled in them. I hope they are happy, productive people. I hope they never question God's love for them, and I hope they never question our love for them. 

I am sure there is more I could add to this list, but my daughter's "reading time" is done, and I am being beckoned to pray with her and give her a count-to-ten-snuggle ;)

Family Photos/Pro B-day pics!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that we got family photos done before Sam and Tobes' birthday party (with Sam's family), and we finally got them back :)

The photographer, Jordan Verlage, did an amazing job as per usual ;) He took our maternity photos as well as Tobes 1 month shots.

And now, here's some of my favorites (along with my new banner at the top - did you notice it? It's all shiny and new)!



My babies. My heart soars with pride of them!



Tobes (right) and his bestest buddy Sam





This is going to be blown-up as big as I can and placed above our couch in the new home!



Best buds





Nursing moms (I love this shot)

One big happy family!

I can't post these without one of Toby's Brotha and Otha Motha (and Fatha...)

And here are pictures from Sam and Tobs' first birthday, by the same photographer!

Father's Day

My amazing Husband, with my amazing kids!
Thank you to Jordan Verlage for the awesome photo!

An article was recently shared with me on facebook from CNN.com, entitled "A father's day wish: Dads, wake the hell up!" and after reading it (please take the chance - it's a really great article), I spent the afternoon of Father's Day in reflection... ("the afternoon" because I was working that morning. Hubbyman spent his Father's Day waking up with the kids, cooking pancakes with Princess, and then loading them into the car to go shopping and have Dad-day at the mall... then he cooked me dinner. Because he is awesome like that).

I have always wanted to be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom, for those not in the know). I have always wanted to be a wife and mother. I am proud to be a nurse, but I must admit that a slight part in the decision-making process as I looked at university programs had to do with being able to work at an amazing career part-time while I reared my brood. Something I could put on hold while the babies were little, and be able to build upon as the children became more independent/started school. And I have to admit an exciting bonus of doing private practice lactation consulting is being able to tailor at least some of my schedule to work around my family.

In my dreams to be a SAHM, I wanted to find a man with similar values. But beyond that, I wanted to find a man who was excited about being a daddy, and about raising our children together. My desire to stay at home meant I needed a breadwinner, but I didn't want someone who thought that breadwinning was his only job. I wanted a daddy for my children. I wanted someone who had an opinion on parenting styles (hopefully that matched mine!!), and who was willing to be an active parent and partner.

And I struck gold with Hubbyman. He works every day at his 8-5 job, and he's also been known to work extra to bring in extra for our family's treats. But after working his 8-5 job, he has helped me out with dinner (especially in Princess and Tobes's early days), helped tidy up the house, and he has also played with the kidlets and put them to bed (even when I've been home). He wakes up with them on the weekend, and lets me sleep in. He plays with them for hours, has done Princess's nailpolish, and has had tea parties with her. He takes Princess on special dates, and takes Tobes for walks so I can sleep or rest, or go out for coffee with friends.

Has he worked hard already at work? Yup. Does he wake up eariler than me to go to work? Roger that. Is his job outside the house easier than mine inside the house? I'd say we're comparing apples to oranges with that one. It depends on the day! But this is a man who takes his job as Daddy just as serious as his "paid gig". We talk about how to approach each new stage with Princess (she being the oldest), and we marvel in Tobes's newfound personality. He is just as much the decision-maker in how we parent as much as I am.

And I couldn't ask for any more, or any better. Some day our babies are going to be old, and hopefully some day they're going reflect back on these days and remember all the special times they have shared with their father.

So to my wonderful husband, the father and daddy of my children, the one who let me nap yesterday afternoon, and who cooked me a lovely roast dinner tonight. To the man who is STILL Princess's favorite parent, and who's voice can make Tobes stop in his tracks when he hears you at the back door... To an amazing man, Happy Father's Day!!

Happy Birthday to The Tobes

My ridiculously handsome little man, Tobes.

1 year ago today, I was made a mommy for the second time!

We had just finished celebrating your big sister's birthday, and you made your appearance on your due date, with 42 minutes to spare!

1 year ago today, a little boy was placed in my arms. We didn't officially know if you were a boy or a girl before you were born, but as soon as you were born, we knew you were Tobes. The early days were just spent getting to know you. We had a baby before, but we had never had a Tobes. I wondered if you'd like being wrapped against me (you did!) or if you'd prefer the swing (you didn't). I was excited for you to meet your big sister, and wondered if you'd like being her little brother (you do!) And I was excited to start our new life together as our happy little family. You were the missing piece. You were the one we were waiting for to complete us.

And now you're our little man. You're constantly exploring, and even though it keeps me on my toes, and even though I wish you'd sit still for just. a. minute, I wouldn't really have it any other way. I wonder if you're going to grow up to be an engineer like your daddy, or maybe an acrobat? You certainly are a daredevil - your scariest hobby is scaling the ladder up to Princess's loft bed. You're very quiet when you do it, and we have to be VERY careful about keeping that door closed now!

You have blonde hair and in the right light, I can see little hints of red, but otherwise you look a bit like your daddy, and a bit like your Uncle James. I wonder if your hair will stay blonde, get more red, or change to something completely different? I wonder who you'll end up looking like as you grow out of babyhood.
I wonder what you'll be like as you get older? Will you like music? Will you like to read? Will you keep your no-fear attitude, or will you mellow down with age?

This past year has been amazing. I love learning more about you each and every day, and I cannot wait to see what this next year brings. I think you're amazing, and I am so excited to be your mommy!!

I love you. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to the Princess

The Princess, in all her 4-year-old glory. Isn't she beautiful? :)

4 years ago today I became a mommy.

4 years ago today a little girl was placed in my arms, and I was shocked (we expected a boy), nervous (I don't handle change well), excited, thrilled (we had always wanted a girl), and elated for the rest of my life as a mommy to start.

4 years ago I was dreaming of who you'd grow up to be. I was hoping you'd like dance, and Disney. I was hoping you'd be smart, and funny. I was hoping you'd love books, and being read to. I was wondering if you'd keep my eye color and who you'd look like more as you grew up. I was excited to show you your home, your puppy, and your family. I was excited to take you to the park, and the zoo, and share all my favorite childhood places with you.

And now you're my Princess, and you come by the nickname honestly ;) You love dresses and your long hair. You LOVE dance (yay!), and Disney. You are a bubbly little girl who always has something to say, and you're ridiculously hilarious when you want to be. You love to make us laugh. You love to "read" (look at books), and you're constantly bringing books to me. You have my eye color, and daddy's hair color, and it changes back and fourth who you look like more (though I think right now you look a LOT like I did at your age). You're a beautiful girl with a smile that takes up your whole face.

Even when I get frustrated, you make me proud to be your mommy. You're smart, funny, happy, and kind.

I love you. Happy Birthday!

Baby Steps

I promise myself I will remember this moment when they're teenagers and annoying the crap out of each other (and me)

Tobes has started to walk more than crawl now. He's cruising. He's moving from one piece of furniture to the other (walking hands-free inbetween), from one person's leg to another, and standing around just watching Princess play. This is brand new as of this week, and pretty fantastic to watch.

It's amazing to watch the transition Tobes is going through from crawling to walking. Though even now, he prefers to walk holding onto our fingers, and I usually have to pry my fingers from his grasp for him to walk on his own. He stops for a minute and looks back at me before taking the tentative step on his own.

But this post isn't about him... It's about me!

I have been cruising the metaphorical furniture in my career so far. It's been comfortable. I don't need to go to the center of the room, I am good right here hanging out between the couch and the coffee table. But I see those arms beckoning me away. They're JUST out of my reach, and if I stumble, they might not catch me in time.

And I don't yet realize that the middle of the room is where it's at, and beyond that there are HUGE applications for this newly acquired skill. I can walk to the middle of the room, I can walk back. I can walk with the big kids, and sometimes walking leads to running, and then watch out!!

But to picture myself running at this point is impossible. There are too many things to do, too many things to learn. And that's when I get overwhelmed, and cling to my safe, comfortable couch...

Baby steps, Erie. Baby steps.

If You Go Out in the Woods Today...

Yesterday we celebrated Tobes birthday alongside his bestest best bud, Sam! The boys were born 2 days apart (Sam shares Princess's birthday) and a joint birthday venture meant that Tobe's first birthday was given all the focus and celebration it deserved (something I was nervous about when I first got pregnant with another June baby).

Sam's mom just so happens to be one of MY bestest best buds, The Common Sense Crusader :) And she and her lovely husband co-hosted the event.

It was perfect, almost right down to the weather!

We started out the morning with family portraits done by Jordan Verlage, the same man who did our maternity and Tobe's newborn photos. We got shots of Tobes, Sam, and Princess (her 4th birthday will be celebrated with friends in July. That is what I keep telling myself, and it's a promise I am going to hold to!) and then family shots, as well as one big happy family shot.

Some examples of his work - one of my favorite maternity photos

The Common Sense Crusader and I

Baby Tobes... I can't believe he was ever that small!

I will take this moment to mention that Ms. Common Sense and I keep getting asked if the boys are twins (they do look alike), and when they find out they aren't, they ask if we're sisters! Actually, we've been asked the sister questions a couple of times outside the boys altogether. Isn't it said that people who spend a lot of time together start looking alike? Well I'll put on the matching nylon windbreaker if you do, m'dear!

Not sure who would be who in this picture, but don't they look snazzy?

After photos, we headed to the park. The forcast for the day was sunny and bright up until the day before, when Mr Weatherman predicted thunderstorms and showers all afternoon :(

But while that might have been the forcast, no one told God ;) Because we had "soft light" for the photos (which meant no scary squinty eyes for us!) and then BEAUTIFUL weather up until the literal end of the party (it started to pour rain as we loaded up, then the sun came out again! *lol*)

It was an amazing day! We had a lot of fun, with a lot of great people, and I am so happy we could share Tobe's first birthday with those we love!

Professional pictures to come soon, I promise :) Jordan (who also took PARTY pictures) said they'd be ready in 1-2 weeks, so the countdown begins ;) In the meantime, here's some we took!

Sam

Princess and her friends

Birthday Boys!

Wordless Wednesday