Christmas

Is it Christmas yet? Now? How about now?

I am one of those annoying people with their lights up in October (though, in my defense, you need to get them done early with the winters we have! And we don't turn them on yet... Mostly because Greg won't let me...) I squeal at the first Christmas commercial of the season (not because I enjoy the commercialism of the season, but because I like the songs, and the reminder that Christmas is, infact, just around the corner). I love the twinkling lights, the decorations, and the music. I love the snow (when I don't need to go anywhere), the coziness, and the warmth. I LOVE gift-giving. I have an incredible craft-list for family this year that I'm so excited to work on! And most of all I love the "meaning of the season" - I love the opportunity to celebrate Jesus, and God's gift of salvation to us. I love hearing the story of Mary and Joseph and singing Christmas carols in a packed church with my family and friends.

So... Is it Christmas yet?

"Moments"

This post is dedicated to all my awesome friends - those who have shown amazing kindness and gentleness towards me and my family. Some of you have children of your own and have "been there, done that". Some of you are aunties (whether biologically, or have been adopted into the role) and some of you have made the decision to turn working with small children into a career. This post is a thank you to all of you. I know for certain that some of you read this blog, and I don't know about others. But I need you to know how awesome you all are.

I feel like I have had a week of "bad mommy moments". I don't mean that to say that I'm a bad mommy. I know I'm not. I look at my little girl and I know that I've done something right ;) But this has been a trying week, and when people look back at my life, and remember me as a mother, I hope this week is replaced by many happier memories. I've been short tempered, frustrated, tired, and upset. It's been rough with my partner-in-crime gone. I can tend to Tara (who I think has actually gotten chattier), or I can tend to Toby (who, while is a smiling ball of cuteness, is still a fussy, wailing infant!) but I feel like I fall desperately short when trying to care for both (and then throw myself and a dog into the mix). Thank goodness his trip was only 6 days! I am so happy to be back to "normal". Beyond missing my hubbyman like crazy, I'm so happy to have a second set of hands, and a second person to lavish attention on Tara while I nurse Toby, or to play with Toby (which at this point involves making faces and squeaking a giraffe) while I read to Tara. It's nice not to be outnumbered, and to give each child the attention they deserve.

We all have our "moments", whether mommy-related or not, where we feel we fall short of our own expectations of ourselves. Moments where we look back and feel like something has caused us to act out of character, where we could list 3 different (better) ways we could have reacted to a situation, or where we've come up with the PERFECT response... 2 days later. I've definately had my fair share, not limited to this week, although I feel like it's been more concentrated these last 6 days. I get frustrated with my chatty 3-year-old. I am flustered with my crying baby. I say and do things that while no one else might have thought anything of it, I wish I could redo (2 days later, of course! ;)) I pride myself on my parenting. I am proud of the funny little girl my daughter has become, and the smiling, happy baby my son is. I am embarassed when I get flustered and upset. I am embarassed when I lose patience and raise my voice. I am embarassed when I'm distracted and can't focus.

And this is where my awesome friends come in. I know it's all part and parcel in friendship, but thank you for your looks of understanding when I have those moments, and knowing that I'm just having a bad day. Thank you for your patience, and kind words. Thank you for your love and understanding.

You guys rock my socks!

Feelin' Old... Or Grown Up, at Least ;)

I just finished filling out the form for my daughter to start Irish Dance. I danced for about 10 years, and it's only been about 5 since I quit, and now I'm registering my daughter. Same school and everything. I'm going to be one of those moms out in the hallway. Maybe I should take up knitting? Or crochet. I can't believe I'm going to be a dance mom. I'm not OLD enough to be a dance mom*!!

I'm so excited :) I'm so excited for her first class (which reminds me, I need to get her black shorts!) I'm so excited to buy her first pair of shoes (as far as I know, her feet are still too small for real soft shoes, so I imagine she'll wear black ballet slippers in the meanwhile). Oh my goodness, I'm so excited (and nervous!) for the first time I have to try to curl those long locks! I remember how long it took my mom to do my hair, and it was nowhere near as long as her hair is!!

I'm excited to help her practice (I've been trying to get back into dancing as well), and for her very first competition.

I'm gonna be a dance mom*! Eee!!

* Don't worry. This isn't one of those "trying-to-relive-my-youth-through-my-daughter" things. I'm gonna be a cool dance mom. I'm going to support her, not force her.

The Disney Influence

Princess-influence specifically. I don't know what else it could be! My little girl refuses to wear anything other than skirts or dresses, and she hates having her knees show. In the summer heat this is fine - she has enough of both to cycle through on a regular basis, and I love making her skirts to boot. She has pretty patterns, fun designs, skirts that are frilly and ones that twirl. I'm thrilled that she polices the length herself, not that I think it's a huge deal for a 3 year old, but it's a pattern I'll definately encourage as practice for later on.

The problem is that my princess of a daughter lives up in the cold north with me, and the warm temperatures are already starting to cool as we near fall. This become problematic because her majesty refuses to wear tights, shorts, leggings, babylegs, pants, etc. Basically if it touches her leg, no thanks! I have thicker materials to make her some "winter skirts" to wear with long sleeves and sweaters, but it would be nice if I could get her to wear something underneath.

I was such a tomboy as a child - this struggle is definately new to me!

There Might be a Little Room for Love Afterall...

One of my best friends has 2 sons, aged 5 and 6, whom we now make a weekly trek out to see. Tara and the 6 year old (my Godson) were somewhat betrothed from the start. Zack has always been kind and gentle to Tara. They hold hands at church, and they play gently and quietly (most times) at our playdates.

Nathan and Tara, on the otherhand... Well, Nathan one day informed us that he "just can't love Tara". And that summed it up best. Nathan and Tara are like water and oil. There's a communication barrier that just doesn't seem to let up, no matter how they grow and mature. Nathan and Tara will just never love each other...

... Until today. We've noticed Nathan and Tara are pretty happy to play when Zack's at school. This afternoon Nathan and Tara even spent time drawing while Zack played on the Wii. But they absolutely outdid themselves when we came in from playing in the yard - when Nathan signed "I love you" to Tara, and Tara said "I love you back".

To top it off, they HUGGED goodbye (which I don't think they've actually ever done.. Ever.)

Could this be a turing point? Could they end up lifelong friends? I don't know. But I do know one thing - maybe there is a little room for love afterall...

Belle of the Ball...

Right now my daughter is parading around in a recieving blanket tied around her waist, plastic princess high heels, and 3 necklaces around her neck. She just informed me she is going to the Ball with her husband and children.

We live in a land of make-believe right now. One moment she's a waitress taking my lunch order (and telling me to not even bother asking for a milkshake because we're all out, but I can have another diet pepsi while I'm waiting if I'd like!) then she's going to the ball to meet all the princes, then she's grocery shopping with her children but her silly husband keeps calling her on her cellphone!

She's my silly little girl :)

*Brushes the dust off*

Hello poor, neglected journal! The past few days was a bit of a breakdown as Toby's fussy periods grew exponentially, so I've decided to journal. I have opened up a specific journal for him - to track his waking and sleeping times, as well as his happy and sad times. Hopefully with it documented I'll be better able to figure out what's going on and what to do!

I don't know what this journal will become. I think it'll turn into "A Day in the Life" - who's doing what and how :)