Not Ready

Princess and Tobes on St. Patrick's Day

Princess and the Tobe both have birthdays in 2 months. Tobes will be 1, Princess will be 4. I'm not ready.

We're done having children for a variety of reasons. The biggest one is that we just have no desire to have any more children. It's not even that we have a boy and a girl, we're just happy with our brood, and I don't know if I will ever have enough energy for the ones I have now - let alone for any more! ;)

So watching them hit milestones is hitting a cord right now. (Hitting a chord? I googled and both came up as correct... I mean whichever means stingy) I'm just not ready.

Princess will be 4 in the summer. She will be starting kindergarten not next year, but the year after. I'm not ready. She wants to write letters and is randomly starting to add (??) and she looks like a little girl now. I'm not ready for her to be a little girl yet, let alone want to write and add and do all sorts of grown-up things. She is fiercely independant, and wants to learn French and Spanish, and can't wait to go to school with a teacher, just like Sid the Science Kid. I'm just not ready.

Tobes will be 1. He has 2 teeth now, and 2 more coming in, and I've finally come to the realization that he has been saying "mum" for quite a few weeks now, and says it only in reference to me (when he's looking for me, when he's crying and wants to be picked up by me). He does not say it for anyone else. I am not ready for my youngest to talk yet. Are you KIDDING me?? And he is thisclose to walking. He's walking with 1 hand now, and crusing around furniture. And standing. He's freaking standing on his own now. I'm not ready for my youngest to have teeth and eat food and walk!

I wonder if I'd feel this strongly if we were planning on more kids - am I scared because I'll never experience these firsts again? Maybe.

But this insight still doesn't make me any more ready! ;)