Fine, I'm a Dance Mom.

I started to write this post last year. It was originally titled "I'm not a dance mom!", a loud declaration to anyone who'd listen about how not-down-the-rabbit-hole I was. Unfortunately, it was incredibly false. I AM a dance mom, I'm just not one of THOSE dance moms.

You know, the ones that you see on TV, that spend every waking moment at the studio, sewing rhinestones on costumes and b*tching about the teacher, other parents, who is the teacher's pet and how much they hate the teacher's pet's mom. They complain that the teacher is too mean/costumes too skimpy/dances too difficult/not difficult enough. Their other children/spouses/outside worlds are noticeably absent in conversation or social media. They get drunk with other dance moms, get into fisticuffs with other dance moms, and while they swear it's all for the kids, you know who's driving the bus on this one...

Of course I'm a dance mom. I spend countless hours at the studio, or on the road to competitions. I have a Pinterest board of solo dresses and while I am writing this blog post I am also researching new soft shoes for Princess. You can bet that dance comes into my conversations with friends/family/the checkout lady at Safeway at least 5 times a day, and OF COURSE I've gotten drunk with my fellow dance moms (our parents association meeting was held at a place that was serving alcohol at 10AM today). And you had better believe...

Who else can say that their 7-year-old competed at a national level for their extra curricular? Princess is talented, does amazingly well in competitions, and I will never get sick of watching her on stage. My heart skips a beat every time she performs.

But here's where I see some differences.

1. She's (we? I?) not in it for the fame. Let's be realistic here - if I were to name-drop Joel Hanna (he teaches my daughter workshops) or Ciara Sexton (we met her in June), it's probably a select few who would know who I'm talking about, and be excited about it. Touring shows are making Irish Dance a lot more well-known, but I don't foresee my daughter making it big in Hollywood, or becoming a TV star.
2. I did it too. I'm not just a mom who "drank the kool aid". I used to Irish Dance. I danced for over 10 years. I watch Irish Dance videos on youtube for fun, and Princess was first exposed to it when she was 2 because I put Riverdance on the TV for the millionth time. I love the music, I love the art form, and I always said I would return to it as an adult when I could (tried that this past year... did not go well...) I love watching other dancers at competitions almost as much as I love watching my own daughter. She's also dancing at my old school, so it's something special to us both. She and I wore the same style dress...

   

   I am much older in this picture than I look/care to admit...

3. Because of #2, it's something that Princess and I can share. It's something that we can bond over. We get automatic "us" time at competitions, and have fun adventures together. It gives me some Princess time now that she's in school all day.
4. Despite #2, I know the difference between her dreams and mine. I really do. And decisions we make about her classes, practices, and events are heavily discussed. Trust me.
5. My son will find his own thing, and while I might not have the same nostalgic investment, you'd better believe I will support him just as much - emotionally, financially, and with our time. I don't entirely know how yet, but I will. He tried dance for a year, and gave his teachers a run for their money. This year he is back in gymnastics, and possibly "sport ball" in the winter. We are going to find something he loves, and as much as I joke that WE are a "DANCE FAMILY", if we need to be a dance and gymnastics/soccer/football (I really hope not football... I hate football...) family, so be it!
6. I'm not *just* a dance mom. Besides Tobes finding his own thing, I have my own things too. Dance absolutely is part of my daily conversations, but I'm also a lactation consultant, I love to nom babies, and in my spare time sometimes I even craft and sew ;) Someday I would love to "work on my photography" (I don't have photography to work on, but I'd like to eventually), and my last midlife crisis involved researching floor looms, weaving, and raising sheep. I've got my own stuff going on outside these mirrored studio walls!

So why not embrace the label? I'm a dance mom. I am friends with dance moms. We go out for coffee while our kids are at workshops, and we look out for each other's kids at events. We pack extra snacks to feed extra dancers and their siblings (including GF stuff for Tobes. I am thankful for my fellow dance moms!), and plan car pools.

I'm a dance mom. I'm just not one of THOSE dance moms... Right?